Life

Life it seems lately has been shoving me into the ground and kicking me in the stomach in an effort to get me to be my own person.

All right already! I get it.


Well on the other hand, I am appreciating this cool, humid weather we've been having. Makes me feel like my human hair will begin to fall out soon to be replaced by beautiful green moss growing from my scalp. Like I could just inhale and gain all of the nutrients my mind and body need from the moist morning air. Like, if I knew the right words, I could probably perform magic, by the power of my own soul alone.

Autumn. Fall. Evening of the year.

I Love...

...the eels. They can talk to me about everything important, sad, and beautiful.



I bet you are flying inside.

What can I say? We are hilarious... okay mostly just Beth

Beth: Look how cute you are... with your messy room.

me: nyahhhhhh (falls to the floor and snuggles with the mess)

Beth: (stares down at me with a pained expression on her face) And then my soul cries out for a new world. One in which there is not... this.

Anyway I'm off for a looooooooong run and then to study my little arse off for LEED Accreditation Exam. For which I'm signed up next Friday. For which I have read approximately 13/2,734,000,000ths of the material.

I'll be fine right? It's just like college.

More Sissy

(Because 3M gets such a kick out of it):

Beth and I planned and recited the following conversation this morning.

me: Guess what song is playing!
Beth: (stirring oatmeal) Our favorite song in the NATION?
me: (poking head into the kitchen) Nay. In the WORLD!
both: bwahahaha

...which was inspired by a statement made by Beth involving something with "favorite song" and "nation" and "world," a statement which may or may not have included the word "nay," as evident from our discussions as I recorded the "original" conversation.

me: I said "nay."
Beth: No I said "nay."
me: No I said "nay."

Hmmm... beginning to see a pattern here. The song? "Come Sail Away" by Styx.

No More Tears

My tears dried up at the beginning of this year, and I haven't really been able to cry since.

Sometimes you just want a good CRY though. Like when you get to the warehouse room of IKEA and realize that they are out of stock on every. item. on your list. Even Alseda, which you so desperately wanted. And maybe at other times too, where crying is actually an appropriate response to the situation. It is like having a song inside of you but no vocal chords.

I can remember ONE time since March that I cried.




p.s. I am trying to break the 6 posts in one month barrier which I haven't seemed to be able to surpass recently.

Living with Sissy

I was in the shower this morning and my sister came in to brush her teeth.

Beth: Are you going to eat the leftover beans for lunch today?
Me: Are you?
Beth: No I don't want to bring a lunch today.
Me: Then I'm not going to either.
Beth: Why not? They'll go bad.
Me: If you're not going to eat them then why should I have to?
Beth: I don't want to bring a lunch today!
Me: Well I don't want to eat leftovers!
Beth: You're so annoying.
Me: No, YOU're so annoying.
Beth: No, YOU're so annoying.

...aaand we are both so mature.

Journal

I just finished another journal.

I always love to begin the new book. Every page, completely bare, to be inscribed with the words of life yet unlived.

Who knows the marvelous ideas I'll come across, the beautiful old ones I'll revisit in new and striking ways? Who can say what sort of person I'll be when I close the last page of this new journal after months or a year of life? In which ways I'll have grown? Which new people I'll have met? What sorrow or pain or joy or sweetness I will come across? Empty pages bring a special kind of hope. And journal - at least for me - helps to reconcile our futility when faced with the infinite momentum of time.

Every time you close an old journal, it's time to open a new one.

Babushka Deli - Store of Awesomeness

We went to Babushka Deli to get a dessert and found a package of these cookies labeled simply as $4.24. They looked sort of like giant walnuts with chocolate creamy spread inside. We brought it to the front and tried to get some information from the young woman who was working there.

Me: What is inside of this? Is it chocolate?
Employee: No. Not chocolate. It's... milky.
Me: Oh, milky. Gotcha. What is it called?
Employee: It's just called... nuts.
Me: Oh it has nuts in it?
Employee: No. No nuts. It just looks like nuts.
Me: Cool. What does it taste like?
Employee: It tastes good. It tastes like... sweet. And milky. But it doesn't have anything special (I think she meant "weird") in it.

So of course we bought them. And brought them home. And ate them. And for the record, "nuts" taste sort of like a pastry filled with sweet and milky. Even as a native English speaker I can find no better words to describe the confection.

And this is just one item on the growing list of reasons why I love Babushka Deli and want to buy everything I own from there.

I Wonder...

Do you think there will be clothes required in heaven? Signore di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni seems to think no.


(look at God's buddies, I mean)

Local

Beth and I went to Allston street fair, and it was amazing.

We saw the local band Bad Ash, which had the #1 most sincerely awesome drummer in the nation, and all the hipsters showed up in their best skinny jeans with their largest gauge earrings and their trucker hats and suspenders and cigarettes.

Oh and we got free organic salad greens. Seriously now, what more could anyone ask for?

Alive

I was walking in the park during lunch break Thursday, sort of replaying some bad things that happened this week, when a thought came into my mind, "I am alive." This realization was followed by a couple others "I can walk. I have an entire, beautiful body comprised of billions of cells. I am aware of things. What a miracle. Alive."

Think about that for a moment.

You. Are. Alive.

What are the implications of that statement? Just think about it. It will blow your mind.