On a Day of Love, Some Lessons from Being Sick

Being so sick makes you realize a lot of things. You might think you are an adult, but you get really sick and you feel just like a helpless little kid, like all you want is somebody to hug you, wipe your snotty little nose, say "it's gonna be okay, I'm here."

I am blessed to have kind loving people who care about me and will help me as soon as they know that I need help. Sometimes you just gotta ask for help. 

Whether it is saying oh honey, giving me advice on the phone from another state, making me soup, bringing me food and DVDs, talking to me on the phone saying yes I will get better, helping me to clean, going to the store to get me medicine, patting my back, sending me nice texts and emails and well wishes on facebook - I have had people do all those things for me over the past week. 

Another thing you realize. Every day of life is a gift, and your body is a miracle. You especially remember this when you can’t do normal actions you usually take for granted, like cook for yourself, clean your room, walk any distance further than like the bathroom, breathe freely, have a conversation without breaking down coughing, sleep through the night. 

Sometimes things just take time. Waiting and doing the things you know are good to the best of your ability, sometimes that’s all you can do. 

I love the put your face in a bowl of steam and cover with a towel treatment.

I went for a snowshoe hike Sunday with my coworkers in the White Mountains. I’d been planning/coordinating the hike for weeks (or even months) so, even though I was still pretty far from being better, I just went, because I’d been planning it and looking forward to it for so long, because being couped up inside was getting very old, and because I wanted to go, damnit. We hiked up the White Ledge Trail near Albany NH. A nice little 4.5-miler with some moderate elevation gain (1500’ or so) and some nice views. On the descent, amidst the trees, the sunlight shining bright on the snow, the views of frozen lakes powder-white at the bases of the other mountains around us, I thought to myself. This is holy. As holy to me as I once wanted going to church to be. 

And God saw that it was Good. And I saw that it was Good too! Nothing like the fresh clear mountain air to clear your lungs and freshen your spirits.

Anyway, still fighting off the remnants of this beast. Hope to have fully beaten it in the next few days. 

Maybe a little bit rambly, and not a super Valentines Day post, but I guess there are all kinds of love. And I am loved in many ways. I am loved.

Pupcakes anyone?

I was feeling in the mood to make something cheesy/crafty and thought "aha! groundhog cupcakes." Did a quick google image search for ideas and let me tell you, a lot of them are downright disturbing.

This one looks like a pedophile.

Mouse... with... dentures?

I'm meltinggggg.

Still looks like a peanut.

Just looks vaguely inappropriate.

Sweet mercy what is that thing??? Little poops with M&M eyes?

Finally I saw a link for these Punxsutawny Phil pudding pops from the Junior Society. Unfortunately, I was unable to access the original post, or the blog at all, so we may never know what Junior Society is or where they went. Since the Junior Society was MIA, I figured it would work with cupcakes too.

Nilla wafers for heads.

Almond slices for the ears.

I used yellow cake mix and made some chocolate buttercream frosting. Nutella used to fasten the ears and to draw the faces. They don't look 100% groundhog, more teddy bear almost, but I decided I would rather have cute, bear-like cupcakes than creepy, groundhog-like ones (and even the "groundhog-like" is questionable in many of the instances I came across).

Winter Learning

As you know, I attended one of the winter mountain workshops with the New Hampshire chapter of the AMC (in specific, I believe my class was called "intermediate winter wilderness travel" or something like that).

Left work early Friday and carpooled up with some other people who were attending from the Boston area. Had some classroom sessions and went out for some hikes with our groups on snowshoes, did a 2,900' or something the first day, and bushwhacked up to a smaller hill and over to an old cellar hole (where there used to be a house like a thousand years ago, probably less than that). We slept in a lodge in bunk beds. We ate a wooden tables in a dining hall with giant timber beams across the ceiling. Like probably 2' deep or something. Nothing like could be built now. I believe the lodge was built in the 20s or 30s, so there were still some big trees like that then. It was kind of paradise there. Got back Sunday evening and had a couple friends/family members over for a little birthday toast.

Things I learned (or did for the first time):

• Learned the symptoms of hypothermia, what to do if something like that happens, what the biggest dangers or things to avoid are
• Carry extra set of socks, dry long underwear, in your pack
• Learned to read a compass/setting bearings
• Bushwhacking (going off the trail, just through the woods, using your map and compass to get from point A to point B)
• Saw where a moose had chewed the bark off of trees. The type of tree was called striped maple, I believe, but the nickname is moosewood, because they sure do love it. 
• Saw snowshoe hare tracks
• Broke trail (this is very fun, basically you are walking in the front of the group, on the fresh snow, and you may or may not be finding the way to go, depending if you are following a trail or bushwhacking)

Things I learned (or remembered) about myself:

• I love being outside
• I love being active
• I love learning new skills
• I am excited to be the first to do something
• I like to notice things and try to figure out what is going on or what caused it to happen or be that way
• I'm not cold when I'm moving

We were packing up to head home and somebody said "back to the real world" and to be honest I was a little bit bummed. The weekend really was spectacular. But then I wondered. Is where we were, in the forest, in the mountains among trees and snow and open sky, isn't that more the real world than almost anything? In a way, yes it is. It does remind you how fragile you are, as a creature, how much we need clothes, shelter, heating, insulation, things like that to keep us warm. That is pretty damn real. We kind of live in a bubble that we can take those things for granted.

In a way it was like a dream too, so so so beautiful, breathtakingly beautiful. So much fun. And there wasn't anything to worry about really, they fed us, told us what to do, taught us what we needed to know. Really the main thing to worry about is not dying, and you do worry about that, a tiny bit, but only from time to time.

Which is more real? I guess all of it is IT IS ALL REAL.

The Sweetest Birthday Wishes, from My Mom...

Got this email in my inbox when I returned from my NH weekend. I think it might be the best happy birthday I got this year.

Hey Hi Birthday Girl!

Hope you're having a wonderful day snowshoeing around - we even got the snow that I special ordered JUST FOR YOU...

Getting out this AM put me in mind of the Saturday morning you were born - it was sooooooo cold that AM that by the time we got Kevin into & out of the car to the Guggios house [and we only had to take him at W______ Rd] and then on to Beth Israel hospital, my labor stopped - and it had been going strong for several hours. Fortunately when I 'thawed out' things kicked back into high gear and we had you .. ta-da here she is! I am so glad that we did; you have truly been a joy to me. I love your spirit and quirky-ness and joie de vivre and kind & generous & loving nature and exceptional, inquisitive mind and your creativity ...and so much more! I love you more than words can say. Happy Birthday, Katie. 

It really means something, coming from the person who has known you since you were born. Who actually made that happen (your birth). Who wiped your little butt and your snotty little nose and held your hair back while you barfed into the toilet and put up with you when you were acting like a little shit... who watched you grow through that super awkward phase (which you may or may not still be in), who loved you through it all and will continue to love you through it all.

Thanks Mom!

Winter Adventure

This weekend I turn 28.

Also, I am taking a winter wilderness/snowshoe class with AMC. I will need to purchase, borrow, or rent a couple more pieces of gear. Specifically microspikes, as the terrain near the hut where we'll be staying is apparently super icy.

It is so exciting, I can't wait! I can't wait!

I am trying to get my coworkers (or some of them) to do a winter snowshoe hike too. There's actually some significant interest!

Also, I have been spending a bit of time lately with someone for whom it actually makes sense to say "you too" when he says "happy birthday" to me. Cute, right?

AHH

This is the time of year in which I am confused both about how old I am and which year to put at the end of the date. It's like a mini number identity crisis.

p.s. it's 2012 and I'm still 27 for a couple more days (although have thought I'm 26, 27, and 28 this past week).