Important Announcement

Two of my good friends are making a trip out to San Francisco next week. I mean, they are moving there, can you believe it???

I think they are leaving Monday, but I have no idea how long it takes to get across the entire nation. I would say at least 2 days, possibly more. Dis-ir-regardless, they are going to keep a blag of their journeys, with photos, perhaps!

• Here's the link to their travel log: San Francisco Road Trip

Safe travels, guys!

Dear Newt

I have received many letters from you, my readers. I will attempt to answer them all, but please bear with me.


The Taste of Water

Dear Newt,

Why does water taste better straight out of the garden hose?

Yours truly,
Joaquin V.

Dear Joaquin,

Well, quite simply, our unconscious brains associate a hose with such pleasant activities as watering the garden or filling balloons and squirt guns and other fun stuff like that. For this reason, the water itself contains the cool, cool sparkling magic of summer. When you sip from that garden hose, you are unknowingly sipping from that same draught of life that feeds all of the matter of the universe. That is why it tastes better.

Sincerely,
The Dancing Newt



Tendrils

Dear Newt,

I've read your blag ever since the beginning, and I have to say you're one of the wisest, most awesome people I've ever known. So I have a tough question for you.

I was working in the garden the other day, watering the pea plants.The previous day, my brother and I set up some stakes with a wire for the plants to cling to as they grew. I noticed that a few of the plants had already sent out little stalks that were wrapped tightly around the wire. So I was wondering, how does a pea plant know to wrap its little tendrils around something? Can it feel that it is there?

Sincerely,
Cathy P.

Dear Cathy,

Why thank you. I am flattered. I appreciate your continued readership. It gives me endless pleasure to know that these words do not merely fall into the void of the world's gaping mouth.
As for your question, you are exactly correct. But there is more. While it is true that a pea plant can "feel" that the stake or wire or whatever is there, it is not in the way that you or I feel that a physical object is present. We use our sense of touch. The pea plant feels with the fingers of the universe. That is, the universe can sense a greater presence; it can sense the existence of matter; it can sense our happiness or sadness, our anger or excitement.

Likewise, the pea plant, whose role is to usher in new life (and also juicy pods filled with plump, sweet nibbles), is an extension of this greater power. The pea plant "feels" that the stakes are there, "feels" the warmth of the sun and pulls itself upward to continue the greater pattern of growth, life, and rebirth.

Best regards,
The Dancing Newt



About Newt

Dear Newt,

How old are you? Also, what is your favorite color?

Jake R.

Dear Jake,

I am older than the wind and the sea. I am younger than a newborn babe. I dance on the wings of time, and I float on the current of the years. I know! Can you believe it?

My favorite color. That is an easy one. The color of children's laughter. I assume you know what color that is.

Always,
The Dancing Newt



New Ideas

Dear Newt,

When I learn something new, where does it go? How does my brain know it is there?

sincerely,
Kimmie J.

Dear Kimmie,

Well, have you ever heard anyone say that the universe is expanding? Every time anybody learns to do something new or has a new idea, the universe grows a tiny bit. So, as we all learn new ideas, they become a part of the universe, which we can tap into by relaxing and feeling its presence. And when people get old and die, everything they ever knew gets released into the air, into the streams, into the soil and floats around out there, becoming the substance of dreams for the following generations. Hope that clarifies everything for you.

all the best,
The Dancing Newt

Yo I'm on Fire!!!

Dude, let's all take a moment appreciate Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. Especially that fourth movement. And while we're at it, let's appreciate these beautiful lyrics based from the poem by Friedrich Schiller:

Freude, schöner Götterfunken (Joy, beauteous spark of divinity)
Tochter aus Elysium, (Daughter of Elysium)
Wir betreten feuertrunken, (We enter drunk with fire)
Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! (Heavenly One, your sanctuary!)

Deine Zauber binden wieder (Thy magic power reunites)
Was die Mode streng geteilt; (All that custom has strictly divided)
Alle menschen werden Brüder, (All men become brothers)
Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt. (Where your gentle wing abides.)

In The Dark of the Night

A bitty treat for all of my little Don Bluth fans.

I simply cannot get over how marvelous this song is. I am especially thrilled by the harmonizing beetles and the wailing of electric guitars.

(doom her)



p.s. don't you like how I learned to embed videos?

The Days...

...have been altogether pleasant. Pleasant, with an undercurrent of quiet sadness.

Newt vs. le Savoir Faire

*

I was pinning up my laundry on the porch and noticed a number of... how do I say this... artistic individuals dressed to the nines and congregating outside the Alumni House (which is across the street from my apartment). More and more of them filtered in, smoking cigars and wearing their berets and suitvests/long patterned dresses. I felt a bit bad that they would have to emerge from their little party to see my multi-colored underwear swinging shamelessly in the breeze there, but then I realized they'd probably actually really appreciate the vulgarity... the very bourgeois-ness** of the situation. So I kept pinning until the basket was empty and then went back inside.

I never said it was a good story.




*Photo courtesy of Miss Schneider. Yep, she actually had a photo of my underwear hanging on the porch.
**apologies for not knowing the proper French nominalization.