Monday, August 23, 2010

Dorkatron Crushatron

Confession: I have recently developed a crush on one of cashiers at Whole Foods.  I find him extremely attractive and he's just nice to everybody and seems pretty relaxed generally. 

So, last week, I kept thinking of things I 'had to buy' at the grocery store, and I would even mentally prepare a nice question to ask, maybe, like 'do you have anything fun planned for the weekend?' but then it turned out he wasn't working any of the times I went.

So today I got home late and just wanted some dinner from their prepared food counter.  I got this yummy kale salad, and also some cheese, just because I like cheese.  And then I went to the checkout and saw that his line was the longest and knew I would feel like a dorkface getting into that long line just so he could be my cashier.  So I went back and asked the person in the body care section about fluoride rinse (it was eight bucks so I decided I didn't want it). 

I returned to the checkout area and the line was shorter, just one person ahead of me, and my heart began to race a little bit. 

It got to be my turn and I couldn't think of a single thing to say.  Just smiled.  A lot.  Like an insane person.  I couldn't even help myself if I wanted to.  And said 'how's it going?' and 'no I don't need a paper bag, thanks'.  And made LOTS of eye contact.  And smiled hugely.  Some more.  Unfortunately still not much of substance in terms of interpersonal exchange here. 

I am thinking actually of writing a little note and slipping it between two bills next time I go there (if there is a next time!!!).  I am apparently reverting back to like middle school or something here. 
Dear [name],

I like you.  Maybe this is creepy because I don't actually know you.  Call me if you think it isn't creepy (or if you think it is but are into that kind of thing).  I am moving to [my new neighborhood] though... so otherwise, goodbye and thanks for being the nicest cashier in the store.   :)


Actually, that could be super awkward, because then he would try to give it back to me because he thought I gave him a piece of paper by mistake or read it while I was standing there and the people behind me in line and the person bagging the groceries would be watching and then I would want to run away.

Alternately, I could give him a paper with an internet link and then he could enter the link and see an image of a handwritten note. Ok this is maybe getting too Amelie for my liking. BAH. 

Usually I don't have much trouble talking to new people, but this time I just feel pretty tongue-tied.  Advice?


Logan said...

Thought: Give him your phone number on a little piece of paper (not hidden in money) and just say to him out loud the thing that you wrote ("I like you. Maybe this is creepy ...") It will go quick and at the least he will be flattered, even if he politely declines.

kaci + tom said...

probably what logan said. or, if you're feeling really shy, maybe just hand him your note/number after the whole transaction is over, as you're walking away. that way it's clear that you wanted to give it to him.

i hope you act on this! it would maybe be the most precious thing in all of 2010. and he would be so flattered.

Anonymous said...

LYL2010! ;-) do it! do it!

Beast said...

I had a crush on my TJs cashier back in the day. I never got up the nerve to compliment him on his tattoo. You should go for it and I can live vicariously through you since I let mine get away. sigh.

Newt said...

Ugh. I don't want to bank on me being able to talk during this encounter. Maybe I will go with Kaci's idea about note exchange AFTER the transaction.

Rachel. said...

Kaci's idea on the exit is good. Be brave, little bird. Be brave.

Boodle said...


And how could anyone NOT love you (and your grin)?! I'm routing for you gurl.

Stella said...

aw! Just give him your in Jane Austen time (or modern time too). Or, be super bold and ask him to go for coffee after his shift is over!! The older you get, the easier this gets. Not scary at all! (little lie, but almost true!).

lks mountain view said...

Oh for goodness sakes, get a grip on yourself. Write your email address on a piece of paper, not your phone number. Hand it to the handsome fellow and say one of the following:
*I'd love to have coffee with you.
*Are you up for a walk sometime?
*I would like to chat sometime.
*I've got an extra ticket to...let me know if you want to use it.

Badgerdown said...

I am really shy about that sort of thing. What I might try to do is start a discussion about some of the product that I am buying... such as "I really like the new shipment of peaches". This sounds stupid but it will open new conversation tidbits and help cement your face to him as someone who is not 'just another customer'. Then if you feel more comfortable you can ask about weekend plan... I am silly though so if you hate my advice... its probably bad. :D

Saule Cogneur said...

You'd be a great Amelie, but why not just say, "Hey, I'm moving, so this is the last time I'll be shopping here. I made you a thank you dirty hippie."

Then hand him the card and walk away.

Anonymous said...

You never know untill you try.