Incognito

Life is filled with small blessings in disguise.

You miss the train, yes that sucks, but at the same time it also means more time to listen to the amazing kid playing guitar at the station. I mean how many times does the train come and you board even though you wish you could have stayed a little longer?

Real Life

Yep that's right. I have a full-time job. I wear business clothes almost every day, sweatpants only on Saturdays. I brush my hair and I pay bills. I don't have to eat sandwich cookies and cold leftover pasta for every meal (although I still sometimes do).

What I'm trying to say is that I'm moving up in the world. And the culmination of the new Katie is that I am taking Greyhound instead of the Chinatown Bus for my trip this weekend.

Although the Fung Wah is actually starting to look pretty legit, I mean "Permitted by the Federal Highway Association" - that is serious stuff. Looks as though I'm not the only one moving up in the world!

Rejoice Rejoice

Everyone's home for Christmas. It has been chaos, with all the treat making, people randomly freaking out, pulling down all the old ornaments from the attic and placing them haphazardly on the tree, wrapping presents, listening to littlest sister sing carols at 3 octaves above normal human range, etc, etc.

Sometimes it makes my mom frazzled, and sometimes I eat fudge for both breakfast and lunch (okay who are we kidding... dinner too). Sometimes Beth has to go into her room to escape it all and to brood, and E and I have to go in and dance interpretively to her rock opera (rock + opera = ropera). Sometimes my brother has to sleep on the sofa and I on a camping mat on the floor because his bed is covered in "storage" and mine has no mattress. But if you asked, I'd have to say it really is fantastic to have everyone together.

My parents and youngest sister have been singing in an ecumenical Christmas choir with a nearby Catholic church, so after my cousin's Christmas Eve party, we popped in for a dose of mass.

The choir put forth a solid performance. The priest gave a sermon about (what else) the meaning of Christmas. If such a great gift has been given us, what can we possibly do in return? We can give our hearts in gratitude; we can give our love in service to others. The funny thing (which my little bro pointed out): we heard almost the exact same message at our own church service Sunday. As I listened to the choir's music and the words of the kind, honest priest, a beautiful idea washed over me. Now is a time when we can celebrate together with Christians anywhere and that the message will be the same... a message of peace, of love, and of joy!

And so, I will leave you with this little ghost from Christmas past. I mean seriously, what evokes the Christmas spirit more than a slightly hungover three-year-old, struggling to make it through church?

Is He a Dot or Is He a Speck?

Even after all of the good things that happen, the amazing people you know, still sometimes you just feel like an ignorant little slob.

Missing Them

My company is relocating into a new office building, more towards the heart of downtown. Apparently everyone in our building is moving to other locations as well. I am excited for the change of pace, excited to be closer to everything, to have more frequent T service for my commute.

However, there will be a lot of folks I won’t see any more at the new office, people who work in the same building or whom I pass on the way to work. And I realized, strangely, that I will miss them. I guess you just grow to love those you see. For example:

The head janitor
My train conductors
And speaking of trains, that old timer who rides the same one as me in the morning
Let's not forget the goat-man
Chatty newspaper salesman
Curly-haired guy who introduced me to International Falafel
Man with kind eyes who works at International Falafel (he recognizes every customer)
The young IT professional who dresses in all black and updates me about her 2-year old son
Valet Parking attendant
Morning-shift Salvation Army bell ringer who puts such flair into it

Sniff sniff. And I’ve only been working at the office for 6 months! And I only see these people maybe once every week or two. God forbid one of my coworkers retires or moves to a different job...

Stream of Consciousness

I long to be known, to be loved. Of course there are people who know and love me. They just aren't HERE. NOW.

Life remarkably does go on. And I have some great news: my first big project at the new job was to assist in writing a grant proposal for one of the commuter rail lines in the area. It was SO MUCH work, and such an effort to produce and assemble a whole range of components for the application. Anyway, though, we just found out last week that the application has been approved, and we’re getting the funding... so rewarding!

I’ve been fanatically searching for truth lately. From whence this energy and determination comes, I do not know. Is there a God? I seek this greater being, with no reason other than hope and yearning. I guess I never realized the effort required…

I can tell you this, though: determination and consistency are NOT my strong suits. So I simply continue plodding forward, because I don’t know how long this energy will last. As a result of my search, I regret to inform you that I have shunned several boys, but I hope they will understand that I cannot even THINK about dating them right now… maybe in a month or so after I’ve chilled out a bit on my deliberations.

My great friend from high school is going to be a missionary for church, and I think she has chosen a good path. I hung out with another high school friend friend, Foff, the other day, and we reminded each other who we REALLY are. Sometimes it feels like a hard thing to find people who actually know you. My sisters are coming home soon, and I am looking forward to seeing my college roommates (ahhh that sounds weird, like I’m OLD or something) at Christmastime.

We’re all going to NJ to go sledding and eat toasted food. Yippee!

In other news... my coworkers love me.
My room is messy (as it should be).
I don’t have any boots
It snowed.
My roommates don’t hate me.
I secretly dream of wearing this light brown sweater EVERY DAY because it is so warm and spandex pants because they are so comfortable.
I eat cookies.
The heat works.
The wireless router does not.
I said I would work on it.
I did not.
The clothes hamper is full to the top.
I’ve recently been informed that wizards DO in fact exist… in my heart.
I might have found a couple people to be FRIENDS with here.
POP TARTS!!!!!!!!

Yeeeah... I just had to let it all out.