Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Stream of Consciousness

I long to be known, to be loved. Of course there are people who know and love me. They just aren't HERE. NOW.

Life remarkably does go on. And I have some great news: my first big project at the new job was to assist in writing a grant proposal for one of the commuter rail lines in the area. It was SO MUCH work, and such an effort to produce and assemble a whole range of components for the application. Anyway, though, we just found out last week that the application has been approved, and we’re getting the funding... so rewarding!

I’ve been fanatically searching for truth lately. From whence this energy and determination comes, I do not know. Is there a God? I seek this greater being, with no reason other than hope and yearning. I guess I never realized the effort required…

I can tell you this, though: determination and consistency are NOT my strong suits. So I simply continue plodding forward, because I don’t know how long this energy will last. As a result of my search, I regret to inform you that I have shunned several boys, but I hope they will understand that I cannot even THINK about dating them right now… maybe in a month or so after I’ve chilled out a bit on my deliberations.

My great friend from high school is going to be a missionary for church, and I think she has chosen a good path. I hung out with another high school friend friend, Foff, the other day, and we reminded each other who we REALLY are. Sometimes it feels like a hard thing to find people who actually know you. My sisters are coming home soon, and I am looking forward to seeing my college roommates (ahhh that sounds weird, like I’m OLD or something) at Christmastime.

We’re all going to NJ to go sledding and eat toasted food. Yippee!

In other news... my coworkers love me.
My room is messy (as it should be).
I don’t have any boots
It snowed.
My roommates don’t hate me.
I secretly dream of wearing this light brown sweater EVERY DAY because it is so warm and spandex pants because they are so comfortable.
I eat cookies.
The heat works.
The wireless router does not.
I said I would work on it.
I did not.
The clothes hamper is full to the top.
I’ve recently been informed that wizards DO in fact exist… in my heart.
I might have found a couple people to be FRIENDS with here.
POP TARTS!!!!!!!!

Yeeeah... I just had to let it all out.


eleka nahmen said...

How can a post that ends with "POP TARTS!!!!" not be fabulous? :)

Thirdmango said...

The first paragraph describes me to a T. And also being someone who my efforts and motivations go every which way, it was a hard process in the third paragraph. Make the trip.

Beth said...

I have also made friends here at the universidad! I'm glad to hear that you have as well.

And this thing about boys: you always did have a way of attracting (and then rejecting) all sorts of males. It's quite cute. I do so love you for it.

I'm glad that your project was fantoppytastically approved (how could they not?) and hope that your search for truth is rewarding. Sometimes it's the journey and not necessarily the actually goal/discovery that is the most fun....

Sad for a While said...

1) Thanks for your support.
2) Isn't it great to see an old friend, someone who really knows you? I always feel like it releases tension I didn't even know I was holding.
3) I love you.